Yesterday, the day home said Quinn had a sluggish sad day. As soon as I arrived he jumped in my lap and clung to me like a baby monkey. So we went home and had a great big family snuggle with Lair and a really good chat. Quinn says he wants to stay home, with me, all the time…. Did I mention a few times over the past few weeks he’s given me a handful of change and told me it was so I didn’t have to go to work?
I don't think this is fully related to Aiden. I think Lair & I have been so stressed and pre-occupied since Dad died, the Chaotic summer, Danny, starting Kindergarten.... just everything. I know how overwhelmed both Lawrence & I are, I guess we were hoping Quinn would just float along oblivious....
We told him how much we love him and he’s been such a good patient boy, and how proud we are of him for going to Kindergarten, etc.
This morning he was good. He did ask me if we could stay home but I told him we had to go. He then ran and grabbed a blankie from his room. He called it his huggie-blankie. I asked “When did you name it?” He said “Last night”. I told him he could bring it to Tracys but could not bring it to school. He has never been attached to a blanket, I think I am more attached to it than he, so I was a bit surprised. And I must admit, my heart sank a bit with Sadness…. He must be hurting so much right now. I feel so bad for him.
I can’t wait to wrap my arms around him…
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Quinn's sad morning....
We had a rough morning. I would not let him bring his glow necklace to Tracy’s (I don’t think he should bring anything wrapped around his beck to her place). I told him he could bring one bracelet. He turned the necklace into 3 bracelets and tried to bring them all. I said only one. He threw them all and started to cry.
He cried all the way to Tracy’s; It opened Pandora’s box …. I asked him if something else was wrong and he said yes. I asked if everything at school was ok and he said yes. I asked if everything at Tracy’s was ok and he said no and started crying more. He said Aiden is always mean to him and won’t share. I asked him to tell that to Tracy, so she came over and he told her that. So we talked a little bit about it, then he said ‘I don’t want to leave Copperfield’?? But he wouldn’t elaborate on it. Then Aiden arrived with his dad so we tried to have a little feelings session with Aiden & Quinn, plus me and his dad present.
Once the dad was gone and Quinn collected himself and went downstairs, Tracy said one major thing is, Quinn says Aiden isn’t sharing, but Quinn doesn’t always give Aiden time to play before asking if he can have a turn. As well, Aiden really likes to rough house, where as Quinn does not.
My final words to Tracy was, I think this meltdown has a bit to do with everything going on in our life as well as months of holding in his emotions about Aiden.
=( I can’t handle this right now….
He cried all the way to Tracy’s; It opened Pandora’s box …. I asked him if something else was wrong and he said yes. I asked if everything at school was ok and he said yes. I asked if everything at Tracy’s was ok and he said no and started crying more. He said Aiden is always mean to him and won’t share. I asked him to tell that to Tracy, so she came over and he told her that. So we talked a little bit about it, then he said ‘I don’t want to leave Copperfield’?? But he wouldn’t elaborate on it. Then Aiden arrived with his dad so we tried to have a little feelings session with Aiden & Quinn, plus me and his dad present.
Once the dad was gone and Quinn collected himself and went downstairs, Tracy said one major thing is, Quinn says Aiden isn’t sharing, but Quinn doesn’t always give Aiden time to play before asking if he can have a turn. As well, Aiden really likes to rough house, where as Quinn does not.
My final words to Tracy was, I think this meltdown has a bit to do with everything going on in our life as well as months of holding in his emotions about Aiden.
=( I can’t handle this right now….
Monday, September 20, 2010
Another Trip to Medicine Hat
Since Lawrence worked on saturday, he had today off so made another Trip to Medicine Hat.
By the sounds of it (he's not actually home yet, but phoned), he had an ok visit with both his folks. Talking about stuff that needs to be talked about.
We have no idea how much longer it will be. His mind is mostly there, but his body is just imploading. :( So sad.
He wants to go home; the home care nurses and such are so under staffed, and it would be a great burden on Goldie. So it looks like his final days will be either in the Hospital, or a Hospice.
I was weepy today at work. Just over whelmed with the pre-grieving... When the end does comes, it will be a bit of a relief if that makes sense.
Not sure how Quinn is doing. First Dave, then Grandpa P.... Quinn has an issue saying 'goodbye' even just to house guests and such... I think this stems to his last goodbye to Dave. Poor kid.
This morning he didn't want to get out of bed. Me neither. We've just been so go go go and focused on the craziness... I hope we manage to go to Disney, we could all use a little break in a fantasy world.
By the sounds of it (he's not actually home yet, but phoned), he had an ok visit with both his folks. Talking about stuff that needs to be talked about.
We have no idea how much longer it will be. His mind is mostly there, but his body is just imploading. :( So sad.
He wants to go home; the home care nurses and such are so under staffed, and it would be a great burden on Goldie. So it looks like his final days will be either in the Hospital, or a Hospice.
I was weepy today at work. Just over whelmed with the pre-grieving... When the end does comes, it will be a bit of a relief if that makes sense.
Not sure how Quinn is doing. First Dave, then Grandpa P.... Quinn has an issue saying 'goodbye' even just to house guests and such... I think this stems to his last goodbye to Dave. Poor kid.
This morning he didn't want to get out of bed. Me neither. We've just been so go go go and focused on the craziness... I hope we manage to go to Disney, we could all use a little break in a fantasy world.
Finally have my Mazda back!
Yesterday I had an Epic 12 hour drive round trip to Revelstoke and back in the POURING rain... The clouds were low making many passes poor visibility and I can't believe how much construction there was!
Coffee and pounding PsyTrance was the only thing that got me through! Coming home, just the stint between revelstoke and Golden was aweful. It feels like forever driving that and I was getting sleepy! More coffee!
It was nice to have it back. It's still packed with Camping gear - haven't unloaded yet. Meh - will do later this week, what's a few more days!?
In the end, Warranty covered $3,400 and us $500. Plus $300 for the 'courtesy' car which I am very thankful for.
One more thing off my list...
Coffee and pounding PsyTrance was the only thing that got me through! Coming home, just the stint between revelstoke and Golden was aweful. It feels like forever driving that and I was getting sleepy! More coffee!
It was nice to have it back. It's still packed with Camping gear - haven't unloaded yet. Meh - will do later this week, what's a few more days!?
In the end, Warranty covered $3,400 and us $500. Plus $300 for the 'courtesy' car which I am very thankful for.
One more thing off my list...
Day trip to Red Deer
Lair had to work on saturday and I was due in Red Deer to meet with Marianne and Jason to sort through a pile of dads personal stuff we removed from his house.
Quinn wasn't happy at all. He did not want to go on another long car ride, even with a movie. This through him off all day (all weekend actually)... and he was so not acting like himself. =( This made me sad.
It was just a quick visit. Arrived at 12:30, left at 6.
The 3 of of sorted through the personal items we removed from dad place. Keep, Toss, Donate kind of deal. The final thing to go through are tapes and CD's but will wait till can have a sleepover and have drinks and go through it all (dad was a real music lover!)...
I go tto tell Marianne and Jason exactly what my thoughts were regarding his estate and I just pray that we have it all finalized before November.
His estate is Bankrupt and this is NOT my fricken problem. It's the banks problem now. >:-\
Quinn wasn't happy at all. He did not want to go on another long car ride, even with a movie. This through him off all day (all weekend actually)... and he was so not acting like himself. =( This made me sad.
It was just a quick visit. Arrived at 12:30, left at 6.
The 3 of of sorted through the personal items we removed from dad place. Keep, Toss, Donate kind of deal. The final thing to go through are tapes and CD's but will wait till can have a sleepover and have drinks and go through it all (dad was a real music lover!)...
I go tto tell Marianne and Jason exactly what my thoughts were regarding his estate and I just pray that we have it all finalized before November.
His estate is Bankrupt and this is NOT my fricken problem. It's the banks problem now. >:-\
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Fun Flex - our saviour!
A new business opened up on 130th. A drop-in Playcare center for kids 1yr – 12yr! And we indirectly know the owners, they are our dayhomes neighbours (a stay-at-home-dad, and grade school teacher), so Quinn actually knows them and their kids well.
We took Quinn to the open house and he just Loved it! There is a fun slide and the tubing for climbing etc., lots of toys and games, dress up clothes, a fun dance floor that is bottom lit and the kids can play programmed games on it (Like dodge ball), a movie theatre, Wii and X-box, 3 computer stations for homework, a food bar (we pre-order food, drink, snack at $1 a piece)… They have a calendar of pre-planned activities and movie night listings...
And all this for $7.95/hour! We can’t even find a sitter for that price!
Why am I so excited about this? Because of their hours!
Mon-Thurs: 7am – 9pm
Fri: 7am – Midnight
Sat: 9am – Midnight
Sun: Closed
For my birthday, Lair took Quinn to the fun flex at 9am, and we were able to sleep in peace for the morning (after a late night b-day celebration).
Last Friday, Scott & Dee were in town, so we dropped him at the fun flex and went for a late dinner and picked him up at 11pm. However, this will probably be the last time we pick him up so late. The place is so new that there are not that many customers, so he was the last kid to be picked up (11pm). We were hoping he would fall asleep in the movie theatre, but he was still up, very sleepy and bored. So note to self – maybe an early movie or early drinks, we will still try to pick him up and have him in bed by 10pm.
He wanted to go there last week on a weeknight, so we dropped him off for an hour and went grocery shopping.
Lawrence & I are excited at the idea of Date Night, something we have opted not to do as finding a sitter can be problematic (I should mention, we have had a few of our fantastic friends come hang out with him so we could go out, just haven’t found n actual babysitter).
We took Quinn to the open house and he just Loved it! There is a fun slide and the tubing for climbing etc., lots of toys and games, dress up clothes, a fun dance floor that is bottom lit and the kids can play programmed games on it (Like dodge ball), a movie theatre, Wii and X-box, 3 computer stations for homework, a food bar (we pre-order food, drink, snack at $1 a piece)… They have a calendar of pre-planned activities and movie night listings...
And all this for $7.95/hour! We can’t even find a sitter for that price!
Why am I so excited about this? Because of their hours!
Mon-Thurs: 7am – 9pm
Fri: 7am – Midnight
Sat: 9am – Midnight
Sun: Closed
For my birthday, Lair took Quinn to the fun flex at 9am, and we were able to sleep in peace for the morning (after a late night b-day celebration).
Last Friday, Scott & Dee were in town, so we dropped him at the fun flex and went for a late dinner and picked him up at 11pm. However, this will probably be the last time we pick him up so late. The place is so new that there are not that many customers, so he was the last kid to be picked up (11pm). We were hoping he would fall asleep in the movie theatre, but he was still up, very sleepy and bored. So note to self – maybe an early movie or early drinks, we will still try to pick him up and have him in bed by 10pm.
He wanted to go there last week on a weeknight, so we dropped him off for an hour and went grocery shopping.
Lawrence & I are excited at the idea of Date Night, something we have opted not to do as finding a sitter can be problematic (I should mention, we have had a few of our fantastic friends come hang out with him so we could go out, just haven’t found n actual babysitter).
Monday, September 13, 2010
Lucid dream
I had a lucid dream last night.
I was running up a spiral staircase, it was like I was in a tower of a castle. It was me now, I was kinda afraid, but really confused.
So I stopeed and I thought 'THIS IS A DREAM". There was a gold hand railing and it was a long way down, but since it was a dream.... I hoped the rail.....
I was falling downwards, but was not afraid, then BAM, I landed on my feet, standing on 9th Ave outside the Continental Towers downtown. What the heck!? LOL
Even then as I stood there looking around, a little confused, I knew I was dreaming.... then it faded away.
I was running up a spiral staircase, it was like I was in a tower of a castle. It was me now, I was kinda afraid, but really confused.
So I stopeed and I thought 'THIS IS A DREAM". There was a gold hand railing and it was a long way down, but since it was a dream.... I hoped the rail.....
I was falling downwards, but was not afraid, then BAM, I landed on my feet, standing on 9th Ave outside the Continental Towers downtown. What the heck!? LOL
Even then as I stood there looking around, a little confused, I knew I was dreaming.... then it faded away.
Another trip to the Hat
Sunday morning, Lair let me sleep in a bit (Thanks Baby!!). He woke me up at 10 saying we had to get going, we were heading to Medicine Hat.
Danny had a big scare this weekend. His body is making too much Potassium. Did you know that when they do Lethal-Injections at prisons, they inject Potassium? It makes the heart stop.
Well, a normal person, like you and I, would have a 2.
Lethal Injection is 7.5.
Danny's was 7.2...
Close call!
So we booked it out there. and in doing so I got my first ever speeding ticket. Thankfully I had a very nice officer who took my birthday and Danny into consideration when writting up my ticker for doing 166 in a 110 zone...
He let me go easy. He could have done 6 demerrits, $500, suspended lisence and mandatory court date... instead, he did 3 demmerits & $177. Thank Goodness! Whoops! Guess I'll slow down a bit.
So that has been paid via mastercard.
Any how. We got to the hospital and had a nice 2 hour visit. His spirits are really high. He's seems to be taking every day in stride.
Then we turned around and came back home. Another long day, especially for Quinn, but well worth it.
We still haven't booked our trip to Disneyland. We want to go Oct 7-14, followed by Kerri's wedding Oct 16.
We're not confident in Dan's health so will hold off till the last minute (8-9 days before is when we have to book our airmiles flight).
Danny had a big scare this weekend. His body is making too much Potassium. Did you know that when they do Lethal-Injections at prisons, they inject Potassium? It makes the heart stop.
Well, a normal person, like you and I, would have a 2.
Lethal Injection is 7.5.
Danny's was 7.2...
Close call!
So we booked it out there. and in doing so I got my first ever speeding ticket. Thankfully I had a very nice officer who took my birthday and Danny into consideration when writting up my ticker for doing 166 in a 110 zone...
He let me go easy. He could have done 6 demerrits, $500, suspended lisence and mandatory court date... instead, he did 3 demmerits & $177. Thank Goodness! Whoops! Guess I'll slow down a bit.
So that has been paid via mastercard.
Any how. We got to the hospital and had a nice 2 hour visit. His spirits are really high. He's seems to be taking every day in stride.
Then we turned around and came back home. Another long day, especially for Quinn, but well worth it.
We still haven't booked our trip to Disneyland. We want to go Oct 7-14, followed by Kerri's wedding Oct 16.
We're not confident in Dan's health so will hold off till the last minute (8-9 days before is when we have to book our airmiles flight).
My Birthday!
So it was my birthday weekend. I turned 30 Again.... I'm ok with it, mostly. Once I get this body of mine back into shape I will proudly wear my age on my sleeve, so give me another year!
I didn't want an over whelming large party so just had a few people over. It was a lovely evening filled with friends, drinks, music and love. Both Lawrence and I have been uber stressed and really needed some good down time to just not think about the real world.
So recharged we are!
We went to bed when the sun came up. Lisa offered to get up with Quinn for us (thanks!!), but we were still awake when he got up so let her sleep and had a family cuddle and snooze, and Lair to him to the new Fun Flex (Drop-in day care) up the road, and came back to sleep.
We got up at 2, picked up Quinn and dropped him off at Lisa's then Lair whisked me away to an unknown destination. Swizzle stix spa! Yeay me! I had a 90 minute pamper session and it was awesome.
At first once I started to relax, i broke down and cried, just over whelmed with emotion about our dads and such. My Massuse was very attentive to my emotions. I enjoyed a 10 minutes whirlpool and got it all out of my system and was ready to relax and let her take the stress away. Man that was good.
Afterwards we went to Julios Bario (?) in Kensington for some Mexican (One of my favorite cuiseans). Then we picked up Quinn and came home for a family snuggle and went to bed!
So yes - all in all, my birthday was super awesome!
I love my family. I love my friends. My friends are my Family...
I didn't want an over whelming large party so just had a few people over. It was a lovely evening filled with friends, drinks, music and love. Both Lawrence and I have been uber stressed and really needed some good down time to just not think about the real world.
So recharged we are!
We went to bed when the sun came up. Lisa offered to get up with Quinn for us (thanks!!), but we were still awake when he got up so let her sleep and had a family cuddle and snooze, and Lair to him to the new Fun Flex (Drop-in day care) up the road, and came back to sleep.
We got up at 2, picked up Quinn and dropped him off at Lisa's then Lair whisked me away to an unknown destination. Swizzle stix spa! Yeay me! I had a 90 minute pamper session and it was awesome.
At first once I started to relax, i broke down and cried, just over whelmed with emotion about our dads and such. My Massuse was very attentive to my emotions. I enjoyed a 10 minutes whirlpool and got it all out of my system and was ready to relax and let her take the stress away. Man that was good.
Afterwards we went to Julios Bario (?) in Kensington for some Mexican (One of my favorite cuiseans). Then we picked up Quinn and came home for a family snuggle and went to bed!
So yes - all in all, my birthday was super awesome!
I love my family. I love my friends. My friends are my Family...
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Another Good Cry....
An aquaintance at work was by the side of a dying friend and her family (hubby & 4 kids) for months. Her friend just passed (Breast cancer).
We had a good cry in her office and a wonderful talk about caring for those who are terminal. It was light hearted and emotional.
I'm so sad for Danny & Goldie. There 30 year anniversary is next month. I hope Kerri & Lawrence will be ok after. I hope they can give the care an attention their mom will need.
:(
We had a good cry in her office and a wonderful talk about caring for those who are terminal. It was light hearted and emotional.
I'm so sad for Danny & Goldie. There 30 year anniversary is next month. I hope Kerri & Lawrence will be ok after. I hope they can give the care an attention their mom will need.
:(
Wise words from my sister about Quin and social influence.
Wise words from Marianne....
"Ya, I remember the bus thing... that part is hard when they are so little! Is he still enjoying school? So exciting!!! I know how much you worry about outside influences. You have to let go and trust that he is being protected and that all you have worked so hard to teach him about love and respect will always guide him. No worries!!! Being part of the real world is part of his journey and he is a bright little man with a good head on his shoulders with loving, amazing parents!!! Try to think of it as Quinn being a light to the kids who are surrounded with negativity rather than the other way around!"
Very well put sister!
"Ya, I remember the bus thing... that part is hard when they are so little! Is he still enjoying school? So exciting!!! I know how much you worry about outside influences. You have to let go and trust that he is being protected and that all you have worked so hard to teach him about love and respect will always guide him. No worries!!! Being part of the real world is part of his journey and he is a bright little man with a good head on his shoulders with loving, amazing parents!!! Try to think of it as Quinn being a light to the kids who are surrounded with negativity rather than the other way around!"
Very well put sister!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
KINDERGARTEN!
Quinn had his first 2 days of school on thursday and friday, with no bus service. So parents were to drop off and pick up. I took time off to do this.
The first day was great because we got to go in the classroom and stay for 15 minutes then leave.
The second day we just brought them to their outdoor line up and met them there after.
He was totally fine with the situation and I did really good on both these days. No real tears, a few moments but nothing too much.
... Then there was yesterday. Quinn's first BUS RIDE to school. I took him to his bus stop and picked him up. From here on in, our dayhome will normally do this.
That was hard. Like, really hard. I held it together until he was out of sight. He was so excited and happy. but when that bus drove away, I absolutely lost it. I went to my car and bawled... then proceeded to weep all morning!
What tipped me off was, while we were waiting at the bus stop with many kids ages 5-10 and some parents, some older boys (7-8?) we using their hands to shoot at cars…. I could hear what they were saying and see what they were doing and it was brutally disgusting. I wanted so bad to say something, but what? I was stunned and didn't know what to do so did nothing... There were being somewhat discreet (Quinn didn’t even notice), but it made me sick to my stomach.
The idea of having him in an uncontrolled social environment makes me worry. I guess we have to trust that we’ve instilled enough common sense and rationality that he will be ok. I feel like I'm throwing him to the wolves!
I've done my best to raise a smart happy nice boy and seeing those two ripped me up inside. Yes, I know boys will be boys, but little boys should not know of such violence >:|
His bus to school will be filled with kids of all ages. The bus home will be only Kindergarten. I’m guessing the ride home will solidify some friendships for him.
I picked him up afterwards and he said he liked the bus.
Today was 100% better as it was normal, I just took him to the Dayhome and She took him to/from the bus. She e-mailed me afterwards to let me know day 2 was a success. And it was for me because there were no tears LOL
The first day was great because we got to go in the classroom and stay for 15 minutes then leave.
The second day we just brought them to their outdoor line up and met them there after.
He was totally fine with the situation and I did really good on both these days. No real tears, a few moments but nothing too much.
... Then there was yesterday. Quinn's first BUS RIDE to school. I took him to his bus stop and picked him up. From here on in, our dayhome will normally do this.
That was hard. Like, really hard. I held it together until he was out of sight. He was so excited and happy. but when that bus drove away, I absolutely lost it. I went to my car and bawled... then proceeded to weep all morning!
What tipped me off was, while we were waiting at the bus stop with many kids ages 5-10 and some parents, some older boys (7-8?) we using their hands to shoot at cars…. I could hear what they were saying and see what they were doing and it was brutally disgusting. I wanted so bad to say something, but what? I was stunned and didn't know what to do so did nothing... There were being somewhat discreet (Quinn didn’t even notice), but it made me sick to my stomach.
The idea of having him in an uncontrolled social environment makes me worry. I guess we have to trust that we’ve instilled enough common sense and rationality that he will be ok. I feel like I'm throwing him to the wolves!
I've done my best to raise a smart happy nice boy and seeing those two ripped me up inside. Yes, I know boys will be boys, but little boys should not know of such violence >:|
His bus to school will be filled with kids of all ages. The bus home will be only Kindergarten. I’m guessing the ride home will solidify some friendships for him.
I picked him up afterwards and he said he liked the bus.
Today was 100% better as it was normal, I just took him to the Dayhome and She took him to/from the bus. She e-mailed me afterwards to let me know day 2 was a success. And it was for me because there were no tears LOL
Doctors, Truck, family
Lair went to our family doctor and he basically said he couldn't do anything without a physical.... The first appointment available was Oct 5! Bull-shit.
He started to have symptoms associated with this megga pain, so went back to our doctors office and saw the other one. He at least listened a bit and sent him off for Lab work. Wouldn't all this information be on file from the blood & Urine they took at the Edmonton ER? Grrrr....
I was hoping to pick up my truck on the long weekend, except I guess it is still in pieces as they try to find a pump (?) for the transmission. I can not believe how long this is taking - as every day goes by, I see dollars signs for this courtesy car and still don't know how much of this is covered by warranty. >: \
We made it to medicine hat for the day on sunday. I can't believe how frail Danny is - he has almost disappeared, just skin and bones :( Makes me so sad; reminds me so much of what Dave went through... My heart aches. I haven't gotten over him yet so it really hurts to now see Danny fighting.
I must say, his spirits are very very high and positive. He is living every minute that he can. Lots of his family and friends from all over have been coming to see him. He knows the end is near. He has accepted his fate. I just hope everyone around him will get through this ok. He talked to us, asking if Quinn was ok with everything after seeing 'Uncle Dave' go through this, Danny was worried this would be hard on Quinn, as well that he just lost one grandpa and is going to lose another. I don't know how Quinn will react when the time comes.
It ~30 days till we want to go to Disney and ~40 days till Kerri's wedding.
We honestly don't know if he will make it. He says he will, but his physical presents tells me otherwise. If the human soul can endure and overcome the physical, then yes, he will make it to his daughter wedding and I will pray every day that he will.
We haven't booked our trip yet, we have the time off work but will book last minute, just in case... :( We honestly don't know what to think.
He started to have symptoms associated with this megga pain, so went back to our doctors office and saw the other one. He at least listened a bit and sent him off for Lab work. Wouldn't all this information be on file from the blood & Urine they took at the Edmonton ER? Grrrr....
I was hoping to pick up my truck on the long weekend, except I guess it is still in pieces as they try to find a pump (?) for the transmission. I can not believe how long this is taking - as every day goes by, I see dollars signs for this courtesy car and still don't know how much of this is covered by warranty. >: \
We made it to medicine hat for the day on sunday. I can't believe how frail Danny is - he has almost disappeared, just skin and bones :( Makes me so sad; reminds me so much of what Dave went through... My heart aches. I haven't gotten over him yet so it really hurts to now see Danny fighting.
I must say, his spirits are very very high and positive. He is living every minute that he can. Lots of his family and friends from all over have been coming to see him. He knows the end is near. He has accepted his fate. I just hope everyone around him will get through this ok. He talked to us, asking if Quinn was ok with everything after seeing 'Uncle Dave' go through this, Danny was worried this would be hard on Quinn, as well that he just lost one grandpa and is going to lose another. I don't know how Quinn will react when the time comes.
It ~30 days till we want to go to Disney and ~40 days till Kerri's wedding.
We honestly don't know if he will make it. He says he will, but his physical presents tells me otherwise. If the human soul can endure and overcome the physical, then yes, he will make it to his daughter wedding and I will pray every day that he will.
We haven't booked our trip yet, we have the time off work but will book last minute, just in case... :( We honestly don't know what to think.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Edmonton, ER, worries
So still recovering from the less than spectacular weekend in BC, we were excited to go To Edmonton for 3 days to help celebrate Ursula's birthday. We took Monday off and were planning to take Quinn to West Edmonton Mall / Fantasy Land.
On Thursday, Danny called Lair, asking if we would bring Quinn to come see him. He explained that he worked saturday then we were going to Edmonton and asked if it needed to be R.F.N., or if it could wait a few days.... it could wait, so since we had monday off would cut Edmonton short and go to Medicine Hat on monday.
SATURDAY: So off we go to Edmonton - YEAY! Lair had to work so we were late leaving - arrived around 8:30? We had a blast! Great food, fun friends and jello shots.... many many jello shots! The kids enjoyed there sleepover and we had a ton of fun.
Ursula suprised me with a new hula hoop! She even got the colors of my old one matched! I was surprised for sure! I thought it was my 'secret doner' hope then realized it was not when Karen Allan told me she was the Anon doner for my Jen Gray Hoop - So I will have 2 hoops! WEEEEE!!! We all went to be around 12:30am.
SUNDAY: Around 8am, Lair woke me up, concerned and in a lot of pain... He never did go to sleep. He finally got up and went to the other room around 2am. He was in a lot of discomfort and couldn't get comfortable or to sleep. As the morning approached the pain got worse and worse. He knew whatever this was, was the same thing that happened in Dec 2008 [ http://the-ashmeads.blogspot.com/2008/12/day-in-er.html ] and May Long weekend 2010 (didn't go to the hospital in May).
Faye had some Perckecet - he took 2 and it didn't do a thing. We went to a Medic enter, just to wait for a 1/2 hr to be sent to the hospital. We were both pretty scared, he was in So much pain. I felt so helpless, there was nothing i could do :(
We were fast tracked in the ER. I'd say he was in a bed 15 minutes after arriving, and shot up with Morphine & something else within 15 minutes of getting the bed! That helped with the pain a lot! They sent him off for a CT Scan and sure enough... Nothing.
4 hours later, No explanation. They don't think it's Kidney Stones or Gull Stones. They have no idea what would cause so much pain.
They suggested he see his family doctor for a referral to a Urologist and sent him on his way.
We got some rest then headed home... finally arriving at 9pm. The birthday party was awesome fun, but sunday was sure the shits. We are thankful to Ursula and Faye for watching Quinn while this all happened.
MONDAY: So, as I said, we took monday as a Vacation day wanting to do something fun as a family (West Edmonton Mall?), then decided we should go to Medicine Hat, but Lair had a Morphine Hangover and felt like shit so we didn't go.
Instead we went to the Wavepool. Fun for us all and Lair could soak his sore body in the hot tub). We came home and ordered pizza.
Not too sure how Danny is doing - depends if you talk to Lairs mom or sister.
We're hoping to get the truck from Revelstoke next week.
On Thursday, Danny called Lair, asking if we would bring Quinn to come see him. He explained that he worked saturday then we were going to Edmonton and asked if it needed to be R.F.N., or if it could wait a few days.... it could wait, so since we had monday off would cut Edmonton short and go to Medicine Hat on monday.
SATURDAY: So off we go to Edmonton - YEAY! Lair had to work so we were late leaving - arrived around 8:30? We had a blast! Great food, fun friends and jello shots.... many many jello shots! The kids enjoyed there sleepover and we had a ton of fun.
Ursula suprised me with a new hula hoop! She even got the colors of my old one matched! I was surprised for sure! I thought it was my 'secret doner' hope then realized it was not when Karen Allan told me she was the Anon doner for my Jen Gray Hoop - So I will have 2 hoops! WEEEEE!!! We all went to be around 12:30am.
SUNDAY: Around 8am, Lair woke me up, concerned and in a lot of pain... He never did go to sleep. He finally got up and went to the other room around 2am. He was in a lot of discomfort and couldn't get comfortable or to sleep. As the morning approached the pain got worse and worse. He knew whatever this was, was the same thing that happened in Dec 2008 [ http://the-ashmeads.blogspot.com/2008/12/day-in-er.html ] and May Long weekend 2010 (didn't go to the hospital in May).
Faye had some Perckecet - he took 2 and it didn't do a thing. We went to a Medic enter, just to wait for a 1/2 hr to be sent to the hospital. We were both pretty scared, he was in So much pain. I felt so helpless, there was nothing i could do :(
We were fast tracked in the ER. I'd say he was in a bed 15 minutes after arriving, and shot up with Morphine & something else within 15 minutes of getting the bed! That helped with the pain a lot! They sent him off for a CT Scan and sure enough... Nothing.
4 hours later, No explanation. They don't think it's Kidney Stones or Gull Stones. They have no idea what would cause so much pain.
They suggested he see his family doctor for a referral to a Urologist and sent him on his way.
We got some rest then headed home... finally arriving at 9pm. The birthday party was awesome fun, but sunday was sure the shits. We are thankful to Ursula and Faye for watching Quinn while this all happened.
MONDAY: So, as I said, we took monday as a Vacation day wanting to do something fun as a family (West Edmonton Mall?), then decided we should go to Medicine Hat, but Lair had a Morphine Hangover and felt like shit so we didn't go.
Instead we went to the Wavepool. Fun for us all and Lair could soak his sore body in the hot tub). We came home and ordered pizza.
Not too sure how Danny is doing - depends if you talk to Lairs mom or sister.
We're hoping to get the truck from Revelstoke next week.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Chaotic stress, ashes and transmissions....
I've been procrastinating on this post, but best get it out.
So I was not exactly looking forward to the Memorial camping trip with my family to scatter my dads ashes. It was a stressful emotional week leading up to the weekend. We took the friday off as we had planned to leave super early for the long long drive...
THURSDAY(the day before we were to leave), Lawrence got a frantic call from his mom about his dad. She was crying and worried and talking crazy talk.... She told him he had to come to Medicine Hat Now.... So, he left work and came to my work... We were both panicking. Was this the end? Holy crap. Well we have to go then! We both left work and got Quinn.... Who was running a Fever! What?! No, not now! In the 45 minutes it took me & Lair to hash out some scenarios for the weekend Quinn's fever totally spiked and felt awful...
So, we obviously shouldn't bring a sick boy to the hospital to see Grandpa, and we probably shouldn't do a long drive with him feeling so bad. So Lair took off and we stayed behind.
Lair made it to Med. Hat in record time and managed to spend about 3 hours with his dad to realize his mom was just; well, worried and concerned, but the situation was not that as she made it seem.... After the visit with his dad, he went and had a good long visit with his mom. Then turned around and drove home arriving around 3am.
In the mean time, I didn't know if I should be packing for BC or Medicine Hat and Quinn was so sick and miserable, I just did nothing and went to bed.
FRIDAY: Well, due to the absolute craziness of thursday afternoon, by the time we got up, Quinn's Fever broke, we packed the truck we were running 5 hours late for our 10 hour drive... Not exactly the greatest way to start the dreaded weekend, however, our spirits were high since Danny was doing better.
So off we go..... just to stop in Canmore. Quinn thought he was going to barf. Of course we didn't have any gravol, so we went to Canmore and got Gravel and peppermints. This set us back some more.... we get going and STOP waiting for construction.... I was really beginning to feel that I was not supposed to be going to BC that day....
Finally get going again and we pushed through with only Pee/Gas stops. Marianne called us at 10:30pm to see where we were. We were passing Kamloops, about an hour away . She was just leaving the camp ground and suggested we stay at the Lodge nearby as we would never find the campground in the dark and would have to set up in the dark. We agreed. We repositioned the GPS map thing, to realize we had been driving the long way to the destination so we had to double back to get to the main highway to get to the lodge.
Finally arriving shortly after midnight we poured ourselves into bed.
SATURDAY": We headed to the camp site at 9 and set up and had a nice breakfast. There was Uncle Rob (Dad's brother), Auntie Darlene, my cousins and their spouses, Jason & Dixie, Marianne, Scott & the boys.
It was a nice spot on Tunkwa Lake. A spot where my dad loved to camp and go fishing. Leighton Lake is attached through a small brook/fall(Lair caught his first fish as a kid at Leighton Lake).
At the funeral, we had 66 yellow roses and 1 red one. My auntie dried these out and gave each of us a little bag of petals. We walked around the campsite and scattered the petals in dads honor. It was quite touching.
Then we went for a walk to the secluded area where my dad & Uncle Rob had scattered my Grandma and Grandpas ashes. I'd never been there before. It was nice to be a part of that, but it was so hard without my dad....
We parted out the box of dads ashes (there were a lot!) and everyone got there own red beer cup to do with however they wanted.
That brook between Tunkwa & Leighton Lakes was the Perfect spot. So green and lush, only the sound of natural water running. Peaceful. Serene... Perfect.
Me, Lair & Quinn went and said a few words and scattered the ashes (Quinn didn't know exactly what was in the cup!), then afterwards I went to the same place with Marianne and Jason and we had a good cry, said some words and spread more ashes.
It was hard. It was so.... final.
That evening we had 'Howie's Pow Wow' a feast fit for a Pinchbeck - Fantastic T-bones from a butcher, salad, baked potatoes and corn. Father would have approved! We chowed down and the sun started to set and it started to rain. I was spent. So me, Lair and Quinn went to bed.
SUNDAY: We set our alarm so we could get up early to get up and go.... it was raining. It rained ALL night... We waited for about 1.5 hours before it stopped (of course, setting us back for time for the long road home).
We finally got packed up and hit the road.... 25 km East of Revelstoke, the Truck lost power.... So I pulled over.... It's 3pm and we are broke down on the side of the highway in the middle of F-ing No where... our only saving Grace was we happened to be in a pocket with Cell service and we have AMA...
So we waited for about 1.5 hours when a flat bed tow truck came to our rescue and drove us back to Revelstoke. There are 5 transmissions shops there, he asked where we would like to go - we said where ever he wanted to recommend. So Silverline Transmission Shop it is.
Would you believe the Owner happened to be there? He was tinkering on his own vehicle sunday afternoon! What luck!
He told us there was absolutely no way things would be taken care of in a day or 2, in fact it could be a week or two. So he sent us off in a courtesy car (Sebring) only charging $0.20 / KM. (Hell of a deal compared to a rental!).
We grabbed some dinner and were finally on our way home at 7pm...
It was a long slow miserable drive home in the pouring rain.
Quinn was such a GOOD BOY! We had the laptop loading up with movies so he was content.
We pulled up to home sweet home after midnight... :( What a long fricken Day / weekend....
MONDAY: I went in to work late. I wanted to have a nice long shower in the morning and needed to call our car warranty peeps. As luck would have it, they only deal with 1 shop in Revelstoke and it was the one we went to! It's not confirmed if it's 100% covered, but I know something is covered.... I pray it's 100% cuz it's going to be THOUSANDS of dollars!!!
Now I need to refocus. Have Patience. And try to move on. I will not completely move on until the Estate is settled. I still don't understand how we (the children) are responsible for dad bankrupt mobile home. I am angry and frustrated. We'll hopefully have some answers next week (the lawyer is on holidays).
So I was not exactly looking forward to the Memorial camping trip with my family to scatter my dads ashes. It was a stressful emotional week leading up to the weekend. We took the friday off as we had planned to leave super early for the long long drive...
THURSDAY(the day before we were to leave), Lawrence got a frantic call from his mom about his dad. She was crying and worried and talking crazy talk.... She told him he had to come to Medicine Hat Now.... So, he left work and came to my work... We were both panicking. Was this the end? Holy crap. Well we have to go then! We both left work and got Quinn.... Who was running a Fever! What?! No, not now! In the 45 minutes it took me & Lair to hash out some scenarios for the weekend Quinn's fever totally spiked and felt awful...
So, we obviously shouldn't bring a sick boy to the hospital to see Grandpa, and we probably shouldn't do a long drive with him feeling so bad. So Lair took off and we stayed behind.
Lair made it to Med. Hat in record time and managed to spend about 3 hours with his dad to realize his mom was just; well, worried and concerned, but the situation was not that as she made it seem.... After the visit with his dad, he went and had a good long visit with his mom. Then turned around and drove home arriving around 3am.
In the mean time, I didn't know if I should be packing for BC or Medicine Hat and Quinn was so sick and miserable, I just did nothing and went to bed.
FRIDAY: Well, due to the absolute craziness of thursday afternoon, by the time we got up, Quinn's Fever broke, we packed the truck we were running 5 hours late for our 10 hour drive... Not exactly the greatest way to start the dreaded weekend, however, our spirits were high since Danny was doing better.
So off we go..... just to stop in Canmore. Quinn thought he was going to barf. Of course we didn't have any gravol, so we went to Canmore and got Gravel and peppermints. This set us back some more.... we get going and STOP waiting for construction.... I was really beginning to feel that I was not supposed to be going to BC that day....
Finally get going again and we pushed through with only Pee/Gas stops. Marianne called us at 10:30pm to see where we were. We were passing Kamloops, about an hour away . She was just leaving the camp ground and suggested we stay at the Lodge nearby as we would never find the campground in the dark and would have to set up in the dark. We agreed. We repositioned the GPS map thing, to realize we had been driving the long way to the destination so we had to double back to get to the main highway to get to the lodge.
Finally arriving shortly after midnight we poured ourselves into bed.
SATURDAY": We headed to the camp site at 9 and set up and had a nice breakfast. There was Uncle Rob (Dad's brother), Auntie Darlene, my cousins and their spouses, Jason & Dixie, Marianne, Scott & the boys.
It was a nice spot on Tunkwa Lake. A spot where my dad loved to camp and go fishing. Leighton Lake is attached through a small brook/fall(Lair caught his first fish as a kid at Leighton Lake).
At the funeral, we had 66 yellow roses and 1 red one. My auntie dried these out and gave each of us a little bag of petals. We walked around the campsite and scattered the petals in dads honor. It was quite touching.
Then we went for a walk to the secluded area where my dad & Uncle Rob had scattered my Grandma and Grandpas ashes. I'd never been there before. It was nice to be a part of that, but it was so hard without my dad....
We parted out the box of dads ashes (there were a lot!) and everyone got there own red beer cup to do with however they wanted.
That brook between Tunkwa & Leighton Lakes was the Perfect spot. So green and lush, only the sound of natural water running. Peaceful. Serene... Perfect.
Me, Lair & Quinn went and said a few words and scattered the ashes (Quinn didn't know exactly what was in the cup!), then afterwards I went to the same place with Marianne and Jason and we had a good cry, said some words and spread more ashes.
It was hard. It was so.... final.
That evening we had 'Howie's Pow Wow' a feast fit for a Pinchbeck - Fantastic T-bones from a butcher, salad, baked potatoes and corn. Father would have approved! We chowed down and the sun started to set and it started to rain. I was spent. So me, Lair and Quinn went to bed.
SUNDAY: We set our alarm so we could get up early to get up and go.... it was raining. It rained ALL night... We waited for about 1.5 hours before it stopped (of course, setting us back for time for the long road home).
We finally got packed up and hit the road.... 25 km East of Revelstoke, the Truck lost power.... So I pulled over.... It's 3pm and we are broke down on the side of the highway in the middle of F-ing No where... our only saving Grace was we happened to be in a pocket with Cell service and we have AMA...
So we waited for about 1.5 hours when a flat bed tow truck came to our rescue and drove us back to Revelstoke. There are 5 transmissions shops there, he asked where we would like to go - we said where ever he wanted to recommend. So Silverline Transmission Shop it is.
Would you believe the Owner happened to be there? He was tinkering on his own vehicle sunday afternoon! What luck!
He told us there was absolutely no way things would be taken care of in a day or 2, in fact it could be a week or two. So he sent us off in a courtesy car (Sebring) only charging $0.20 / KM. (Hell of a deal compared to a rental!).
We grabbed some dinner and were finally on our way home at 7pm...
It was a long slow miserable drive home in the pouring rain.
Quinn was such a GOOD BOY! We had the laptop loading up with movies so he was content.
We pulled up to home sweet home after midnight... :( What a long fricken Day / weekend....
MONDAY: I went in to work late. I wanted to have a nice long shower in the morning and needed to call our car warranty peeps. As luck would have it, they only deal with 1 shop in Revelstoke and it was the one we went to! It's not confirmed if it's 100% covered, but I know something is covered.... I pray it's 100% cuz it's going to be THOUSANDS of dollars!!!
Now I need to refocus. Have Patience. And try to move on. I will not completely move on until the Estate is settled. I still don't understand how we (the children) are responsible for dad bankrupt mobile home. I am angry and frustrated. We'll hopefully have some answers next week (the lawyer is on holidays).
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