The briefest glimpse that left me happy.

I was napping on the couch with Quinn this morning. I was in a very light sleep when I had a dream. Now, I'm not saying it was a vision, or a visit, it was just one of the 2 second dreams.

I was standing in my living room, looking at the front door. The door opened, and it was Sean, in a very blue shirt with a very big smile on his face....

My thought was YAY SEAN! I woke with a jolt, eyes opened wide and a very happy feeling.

Like I said, I'm not saying this was anything overly Significant; I think my subconscious brain was just trying to cheer me up. Thinking of that smile... makes me smile.

Celebrating Life. mourning death and enjoying family and friends...

My quick trip to Calgary was exhausting to say the least! I was such a wreck here all by myself after I heard about Sean. I contained myself on the flight to Calgary, but the moment my suitcase came out, I lost it; luckily mom was right outside waiting for me... I just hugged her and cried. She said "there's a little boy in the car who wants to see his mommy"; I can't remember if I said it, or thought it, but my response was "I need MY mommy" and hugged her even harder and longer.

Friday night was the wedding rehersal. It was nice to see everybody and have a visit, except I felt so awful, still hurting about Sean; I didn't want to bring it up or talk because I didn't want to ruin such a happy occasion. It was hard to keep my composure, but managed. Quinn didn't do too well with the whole walk down the isle thing, it had me quite worried (and embarrassed).... :( We've been talking about this with him since Easter, and he's been super excited to be Brent's little helper, carrying the pillow with rings, but he just didn't want to cooperate with walking down the isle.

Saturday was long. Quinn got to get ready with the Groomsmen. They all looked super fantastic! They rode in a Limo Bus to Heritage Park and Quinn got to go too! We met them there and they did photos. It was tiring trying to keep Q happy, and the few pics he was in, he wouldn't cooperate... again :( and embarrassing. But hey, what can you do, he's 3!

He did the best he could do walking down the isle.... well, walked a bit, threw the pillow (thank God the real rings weren't on it) then ran the rest of the way! Lair had to chase him to the back where we tried to keep him settled to enjoy the ever so beautiful wedding. It was hard as he was tired, cranky, hungry, uncomfortable, etc...

When the ceremony was over, I 100% lost it! Lair had to tend to Quinn for pictures while I sat in the van on the phone with my mom... Sean's funeral was at 7pm. The ceremony was at 6:15 and I think ran a bit late. There was no way I could get there in time, as well I was too upset to drive. I asked mom to watch Quinn, Lair dropped him off while I cried on a few shoulders (thanks everybody!). I hadn't really spoken to anyone about how I felt about the situation with Sean as I was trying to stay focused on the wedding, so this was my release.

I got it under control in time for dinner and Lair made it back in time too! I calmed down and enjoyed a wonderful meal, basking in the love of Mr. & Mrs. Brent & Chrystal Boychuck. There was a touching slide show and the dance was a lot of fun.

Afterwards we ended up at a post wedding house party. Again, I lost it, taking about an hour (?) to talk/cry/rant/mourne... then I just kind of went numb...

Sunday we were both really hung over. Mom was nice enough to watch Q till the mid afternoon. We then headed over to Karen & Steves for a BBQ. So now am I exhausted from the wedding and dealing with Quinn, all the days of crying, and I'm hung over and sleep deprived... Sorry y'all; You know I love you guys but I just didn't think I could take it anymore - I just needed SLEEP!

Monday morning, James, Christy, Alex and us went for Breakfast. That was awesome! Then we headed off on our long drive home. Quinn was a very good boy. We left Downtown Calgary at 10:00am, stopped on the side of the highway about 40 minutes later to change Q's bum(!), then pushed through to Golden, stopped for some ice cream and a stretch, Q slept past Revelstoke and woke up just in time to stop at the Enchanted Forrest :) It was a nice hour break. Q's energy was super high and drained us even more, but he had fun. Stopped in Salmon Arm for Lunch/dinner and was home by 9pm.

What a trip. I am still lost and confused over Sean, but there is nothing I can do at this point so I will reflect on all that was good and be thankful we have a new Guardian Angel to watch over us and for me to Pray to.

I am thankful for my friends and family. I hope everyone knows how much I really love and appreciate everybody.

R.I.P. my dear friend Sean...

Well, the day just didn't start the way I ever imagined it could.

I woke up, went onto Facebook, and BOOM, my life changed. Sean Lineham has passed away... All I know at this point is, I've been told he took his life last night.

WTF? How can it be? Is it true? He just happily celibrated his 30th birthday.... and now he's dead? Did he seriously kill himself? Or maybe was there a traggic accident? I am just at a loss as to how I feel...

His Blog and such shows no signs of anything to come as such.

I am extreamly sad and angry because I go to Calgary tomorrow.... TOMORROW!

We are supposed to get together for coffee and and a chat and hug. If it was suicide, what if he gathered with friends and felt alive again? It may have been stopped....

BUT, what if it were an accident? Bad drugs? Drunk and fell? Who knows, maybe it was an anyorism or heart attack!? I need answers. I hope we get some answers soon; I really feel lost not knowing the whole storey.

I'm coming to Calgary to celebrate a wedding... last thing I expected was to say goodbye to a friend. If there is a funeral, I hope I can attend.

R.I.P. Sean. I know You know you are one of my favorite People. I guess now you are one of my families gaurdian Angels.

Namaste. :(

Life without Quinn and Lawrence

... Thursday morning at 7:30am I waved goodbye to Lair & Quinn who were driving to Calgary for their summer holiday... I wept off and on for awhile.... :( When I got my new job in May, I told them of our July vacation plans and they told me they couldn't hire me if I planned to take the 12 days I asked for; we compromised at 5 days... So I am here alone and the boys are in Alberta.

It's pretty quiet here! I can't believe I lived alone for 8 years! How did I do it!

I haven't done much of anything other than relax and watch movies. Guess I should actually clean up the house tomorrow. Wednesday I will pack and thursday I fly to Calgary. I can't wait to see Quinn! the longest we've been apart was 4 nights/5 days. This trip will be 7 nights/8 days!! In fact, I've never been away from Lawrence this long either! I've talked to Quinn every night. I can't wait to cuddle and hold him and kiss and cuddle Lawrence! But I must admit, I'm sure enjoying sleeping in our bed alone - star fish to every corner! LOL

Sunday was our six year wedding anniversary <3 It was sad being a part for it, but we did talk on the phone.

Calgary will be busy with Brent & Chrystals wedding; before I know it we will be driving home. Wish I could visit longer. Oh well, nothing I can do about it but the make the best of the time I have when I'm there!

Harrison Lake Day Trip

On saturday we packed up the van and headed to Harrison Lake, about 45 minutes from home. we lucked out and got a great parking spot. We found a spot on the grass, beside the sand beach so we could relax while Quinn played. Quinn put on his water wings and we ventured into the water. It was fantastic. Had a great time. Unfortunately, about an hour later, Quinn started shivering, so it was time to get out and warm him up! Next time we will bring the little wet suit Benny gave him, then he should be able to stay in a little longer :)

We forgot our camera so no photos, however, it was such a beautiful 'family day' it will forever be one of our memories :)

Update? Yikes! MAY & JUNE

Sorry guys, I've been procrastinating, summer is here, honestly I haven't been on the computer that much!


So a recap, MAY: I finished working for Cellcom. In doing so I also said goodbye to my Cell phone contract and haven't resigned. I feel naked and a little lost sometimes without a cell, but really, it's getting easier!

Our trip to Alberta was great. We did a lot of driving but it was worth it. Saw lots of family and friends. We had a Beer & Wing gathering with over 25 Stellar peeps! A fantastic group came out to say hello. Lair was actually in town on business so many of his days were spent at a trade show. We made it to Medicine Hat, Calgary, Red Deer and the Farm (one of my most favorite spots in the world)!

May 24th - the Parenteau invasion – Sky diving! Ursula cooked up a plan to surprise Albert. They arrived at our home and didn't even get their shoes off when we left to an unknown destination - 10 minutes from our house is the Vancouver Skydiving Ranch! Clayton, a good friend of theirs came to jump too! Albert had no idea until we pulled into the parking lot and Ursula told him he was jumping too! They both had an awesome time and loved it. Clayton said he will most likely join me again for my birthday jump in September (this time I will get the professional Video!). [if you wish to donate $$ for this, please feel free to send it my way! ha ha ha]. Speaking of video, this is one I took with my camera once the chute was open. The spins you see are a CRAZY ride, we're talking 360's, whipping around, awesome fun!

No sooner did we say goodbye to the Parenteaus, we were saying Hello to James and Christy who came to Vancouver for the weekend. We had an afternoon at the beach!

Scott and Quinn dug a tunnel big enough for Quinn's truck to go through! Fun times were had by all.

We interrupt this Blog entry with a song...



JUNE: I started my new job at VersaCold. I'm totally digging the 10 minute drive! Training has been mentally exhausting but I think I am doing ok. I'm in the shipping office but am being cross trained on most positions as come september I will be a part-time floater. For June I trained full time hours 8-4:30.

We've had some fun weekends. We ran into a HUGE random street party in Burnaby so people watched and hung out for the afternoon. We went to a miniature railway and rode a little train.

For FATHERS DAY we went to the Zoo.












TIRED BOY BELOW!











On June 20th, me, Dee, Chrystal and Nicole packed up the van and headed off to the Shuswap for Chrystal's house boating stagette extravaganza - Missy Mayhem! 16 beautiful girls and a non-stop party! WOO-HOO! It was ridiculous fun!




June 26 was QUINN's THIRD BIRTHDAY!

3.... can you believe it?

We celebrated by going to Playland, a waterpark, and had a BBQ.

We interrupt this Blog entry with another song...

JULY: Quinn and I went to the Abbotsford Canada Day Parade. It was 'Cute', but absolutely no comparison to the Stampede Parade! We had a heat wave for a few days. It was so hot in the house that we had a picnic in the basement and slept there too!

I started my new shift this week. Until it gets busier, I will work 4pm - 8 pm. This is awesome! I can spend all day with Quinn, go to work, and come home in time to tuck him in. I wish this could be my permanent shift! However, when it gets busy, I will work 4pm till Midnight (july & aug only)! It will be hard on me as Quinn is up at 7am, so regardless what time I get home and sleep, I will have to be up early! So I plan to nap when he naps in the afternoon. Come Sept, I will work 9am-1pm and Quinn will be in Montessori pre-school during this time :)

We're trying to Potty Train - I can't believe he's 3 and not potty trained! He was going on the potty at Crissy's (the girl who watched him full time when I was working at Cellcom), but he refuses to go on the potty at home. So we are back to square one.









So that's about it for now!

Perhaps instead of a weekly update, a monthly update would be more suitable!


Love to you all, we love and miss you all.