Monday, August 30, 2010

Edmonton, ER, worries

So still recovering from the less than spectacular weekend in BC, we were excited to go To Edmonton for 3 days to help celebrate Ursula's birthday. We took Monday off and were planning to take Quinn to West Edmonton Mall / Fantasy Land.

On Thursday, Danny called Lair, asking if we would bring Quinn to come see him. He explained that he worked saturday then we were going to Edmonton and asked if it needed to be R.F.N., or if it could wait a few days.... it could wait, so since we had monday off would cut Edmonton short and go to Medicine Hat on monday.


SATURDAY: So off we go to Edmonton - YEAY! Lair had to work so we were late leaving - arrived around 8:30? We had a blast! Great food, fun friends and jello shots.... many many jello shots! The kids enjoyed there sleepover and we had a ton of fun.

Ursula suprised me with a new hula hoop! She even got the colors of my old one matched! I was surprised for sure! I thought it was my 'secret doner' hope then realized it was not when Karen Allan told me she was the Anon doner for my Jen Gray Hoop - So I will have 2 hoops! WEEEEE!!! We all went to be around 12:30am.

SUNDAY: Around 8am, Lair woke me up, concerned and in a lot of pain... He never did go to sleep. He finally got up and went to the other room around 2am. He was in a lot of discomfort and couldn't get comfortable or to sleep. As the morning approached the pain got worse and worse. He knew whatever this was, was the same thing that happened in Dec 2008 [ http://the-ashmeads.blogspot.com/2008/12/day-in-er.html ] and May Long weekend 2010 (didn't go to the hospital in May).

Faye had some Perckecet - he took 2 and it didn't do a thing. We went to a Medic enter, just to wait for a 1/2 hr to be sent to the hospital. We were both pretty scared, he was in So much pain. I felt so helpless, there was nothing i could do :(

We were fast tracked in the ER. I'd say he was in a bed 15 minutes after arriving, and shot up with Morphine & something else within 15 minutes of getting the bed! That helped with the pain a lot! They sent him off for a CT Scan and sure enough... Nothing.

4 hours later, No explanation. They don't think it's Kidney Stones or Gull Stones. They have no idea what would cause so much pain.

They suggested he see his family doctor for a referral to a Urologist and sent him on his way.


We got some rest then headed home... finally arriving at 9pm. The birthday party was awesome fun, but sunday was sure the shits. We are thankful to Ursula and Faye for watching Quinn while this all happened.


MONDAY: So, as I said, we took monday as a Vacation day wanting to do something fun as a family (West Edmonton Mall?), then decided we should go to Medicine Hat, but Lair had a Morphine Hangover and felt like shit so we didn't go.

Instead we went to the Wavepool. Fun for us all and Lair could soak his sore body in the hot tub). We came home and ordered pizza.


Not too sure how Danny is doing - depends if you talk to Lairs mom or sister.

We're hoping to get the truck from Revelstoke next week.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Chaotic stress, ashes and transmissions....

I've been procrastinating on this post, but best get it out.

So I was not exactly looking forward to the Memorial camping trip with my family to scatter my dads ashes. It was a stressful emotional week leading up to the weekend. We took the friday off as we had planned to leave super early for the long long drive...


THURSDAY(the day before we were to leave), Lawrence got a frantic call from his mom about his dad. She was crying and worried and talking crazy talk.... She told him he had to come to Medicine Hat Now.... So, he left work and came to my work... We were both panicking. Was this the end? Holy crap. Well we have to go then! We both left work and got Quinn.... Who was running a Fever! What?! No, not now! In the 45 minutes it took me & Lair to hash out some scenarios for the weekend Quinn's fever totally spiked and felt awful...

So, we obviously shouldn't bring a sick boy to the hospital to see Grandpa, and we probably shouldn't do a long drive with him feeling so bad. So Lair took off and we stayed behind.


Lair made it to Med. Hat in record time and managed to spend about 3 hours with his dad to realize his mom was just; well, worried and concerned, but the situation was not that as she made it seem.... After the visit with his dad, he went and had a good long visit with his mom. Then turned around and drove home arriving around 3am.

In the mean time, I didn't know if I should be packing for BC or Medicine Hat and Quinn was so sick and miserable, I just did nothing and went to bed.


FRIDAY: Well, due to the absolute craziness of thursday afternoon, by the time we got up, Quinn's Fever broke, we packed the truck we were running 5 hours late for our 10 hour drive... Not exactly the greatest way to start the dreaded weekend, however, our spirits were high since Danny was doing better.

So off we go..... just to stop in Canmore. Quinn thought he was going to barf. Of course we didn't have any gravol, so we went to Canmore and got Gravel and peppermints. This set us back some more.... we get going and STOP waiting for construction.... I was really beginning to feel that I was not supposed to be going to BC that day....

Finally get going again and we pushed through with only Pee/Gas stops. Marianne called us at 10:30pm to see where we were. We were passing Kamloops, about an hour away . She was just leaving the camp ground and suggested we stay at the Lodge nearby as we would never find the campground in the dark and would have to set up in the dark. We agreed. We repositioned the GPS map thing, to realize we had been driving the long way to the destination so we had to double back to get to the main highway to get to the lodge.

Finally arriving shortly after midnight we poured ourselves into bed.



SATURDAY": We headed to the camp site at 9 and set up and had a nice breakfast. There was Uncle Rob (Dad's brother), Auntie Darlene, my cousins and their spouses, Jason & Dixie, Marianne, Scott & the boys.

It was a nice spot on Tunkwa Lake. A spot where my dad loved to camp and go fishing. Leighton Lake is attached through a small brook/fall(Lair caught his first fish as a kid at Leighton Lake).

At the funeral, we had 66 yellow roses and 1 red one. My auntie dried these out and gave each of us a little bag of petals. We walked around the campsite and scattered the petals in dads honor. It was quite touching.

Then we went for a walk to the secluded area where my dad & Uncle Rob had scattered my Grandma and Grandpas ashes. I'd never been there before. It was nice to be a part of that, but it was so hard without my dad....

We parted out the box of dads ashes (there were a lot!) and everyone got there own red beer cup to do with however they wanted.

That brook between Tunkwa & Leighton Lakes was the Perfect spot. So green and lush, only the sound of natural water running. Peaceful. Serene... Perfect.

Me, Lair & Quinn went and said a few words and scattered the ashes (Quinn didn't know exactly what was in the cup!), then afterwards I went to the same place with Marianne and Jason and we had a good cry, said some words and spread more ashes.

It was hard. It was so.... final.


That evening we had 'Howie's Pow Wow' a feast fit for a Pinchbeck - Fantastic T-bones from a butcher, salad, baked potatoes and corn. Father would have approved! We chowed down and the sun started to set and it started to rain. I was spent. So me, Lair and Quinn went to bed.


SUNDAY: We set our alarm so we could get up early to get up and go.... it was raining. It rained ALL night... We waited for about 1.5 hours before it stopped (of course, setting us back for time for the long road home).

We finally got packed up and hit the road.... 25 km East of Revelstoke, the Truck lost power.... So I pulled over.... It's 3pm and we are broke down on the side of the highway in the middle of F-ing No where... our only saving Grace was we happened to be in a pocket with Cell service and we have AMA...

So we waited for about 1.5 hours when a flat bed tow truck came to our rescue and drove us back to Revelstoke. There are 5 transmissions shops there, he asked where we would like to go - we said where ever he wanted to recommend. So Silverline Transmission Shop it is.

Would you believe the Owner happened to be there? He was tinkering on his own vehicle sunday afternoon! What luck!

He told us there was absolutely no way things would be taken care of in a day or 2, in fact it could be a week or two. So he sent us off in a courtesy car (Sebring) only charging $0.20 / KM. (Hell of a deal compared to a rental!).

We grabbed some dinner and were finally on our way home at 7pm...

It was a long slow miserable drive home in the pouring rain.

Quinn was such a GOOD BOY! We had the laptop loading up with movies so he was content.

We pulled up to home sweet home after midnight... :( What a long fricken Day / weekend....



MONDAY: I went in to work late. I wanted to have a nice long shower in the morning and needed to call our car warranty peeps. As luck would have it, they only deal with 1 shop in Revelstoke and it was the one we went to! It's not confirmed if it's 100% covered, but I know something is covered.... I pray it's 100% cuz it's going to be THOUSANDS of dollars!!!


Now I need to refocus. Have Patience. And try to move on. I will not completely move on until the Estate is settled. I still don't understand how we (the children) are responsible for dad bankrupt mobile home. I am angry and frustrated. We'll hopefully have some answers next week (the lawyer is on holidays).

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I broke down at work....

So this afternoon, around 3:15 I just couldn't get the knot out of my tummy; then opened a flood gate of tears... non stop tears! Red nose, blood shot eyes, tears streaming down my face.... I tried so hard to gain my composure. Thankfully the phone never rang and not too many people walked by - and when they did, I looked busy and hid behind my computer screens.

After a 1/2 hr I decided to go to the bathroom to try to shake it off as I couldn't answer the phone. There were two co-workers in there so I was able to talk abit and get some hugs. I was determined to get my self together and stay until 5.

Thankfully, one of the ladies I spoke with in the bathroom took charge and found my relief girl and asked her to cover reception so I could leave. My relief was happy yo do so and I booked out of there as fast as I could.

I had an epic cry in the parking lot and at each stop light. I debated on stopping before I hit the Deerfoot but just wanted to get home.

Lawrence was home when I arrived so I had warm loving arms to fall into.

My eyes hurt. I am tired. So much to do to get ready but I just don't care right now. Tomorrow night will be long and busy.

Heavy Heart....

=(

My heart is heavy. Lump in my throat. Knot in my tummy.


I thought I said goodbye... was just starting to feel fine, but now feel as if it's back to the beginning days before saying goodbye.


We leave for Tunkwa Lake early friday morning... I hope it's an uneventful drive. I hope Quinn can handle it. We borrowed a power inverter so we can bring the laptop and plug it in so he can watch a movie. Quinn has always traveled extreamly well (to Edmonton and Medicine Hat 3ish hours) but the last trip to the Hat he was quite board and chatty and our nerves didn't handle the drive home very well, which was unfortunate for Quinn.



We're missing a Chosen Family camping trip to Blarriot Ferry which makes me very sad, however we'll head to Edmonton Sat-mon the following weekend.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Freaking out, and not in the fun Party way.

My sister is slowly getting through Estate stuff with the Lawyers and Banks; this is not an easy or quick process. It is looking like dad is Bankrupt. As well he owes money on his truck. We didn't see any paperwork on it, so we assumed it was paid off.

I am freaking out because I just want all the Estate stuff to be resolved and done with NOW. My brother is freaking out because he doesn't want to give up Dads truck.... I can only assume my sister is freaking out, just in general with this stuff and her person life is in great transition.


As well I feel great anxiety with the upcoming camping trip to Scatter Ashes. I don't have much vacation time time so we're only taking the friday off. But, with Quinn, the 9 hour drive will be more 11-13 hr drive. So drive all day friday, do the deed saturday, and up and gone sunday for the drive home. Seriously not looking forward to this. It's a great burden timewise and financially.... >:( But these are dad's wishes written in his Will...

Monday, August 9, 2010

A visit from Marianne, Jordan and Ben

Last week, we had A visit from Marianne, Jordan and Ben for the week. They arrived on Sunday and left on saturday.

It was nice to have them, but rather hectic as both lair & I worked all week (T-f).

Jordan was at Hockey Camp 9am - 7pm every day.

Monday was the August long Stat which Lair had to work, but he was home by noon. We decided to take Quinn & Ben to Calloway Park. It was a fun afternoon.

Tuesday night marianne stayed in with the boys and Lair and I went to see a movie. We saw 'Salt'. It was a great Russian Spy film. We both enjoyed it. The movie let out at 9:30. We decided to stay at the theatre and go see the 10:10 showing of 'Inception'. This was a bold move as 10pm is our bedtime! LOL... But hey, when you have a free sitter at home you get the most of your free time! We LOVED it. Phenomenal movie. I really look forward to seeing it again in a few months once I digest it all!

So this movie night brought us home at 1:15am! Yikes, late night!

Wednesday night Lair was out for coffee with friends. Jordan watched Quinn. I put him to bed, then Marianne and I went for drinks at Brewsters. We had a great gab. Lair met us around 11 and we had some appetizers, and then he drove us home after midnight...

Whoa, TWO late nights in a row! Animals!

Thursday night we did nothing. Hung out. Got a good sleep.

Friday night Marianne went out with a friend. Me, Lair & Quinn went to a friends for dinner. We played 'Rockband' for the first time. It was a lot of fun. I only tried the bass guitar and drums. Next time I will try the guitar and.... singing! (Might need some drinks first).

We headed off to Medicine hat saturday morning, bidding farewell to Marianne, Jordan and Ben.

That was a busy week. This week I am looking forward to hanging out, relaxing, biking and some quiet family time.

Dad Ashmead

We went to Medicine Hat this weekend. The trip was ok. Danny got home from the hospital around noon on saturday and is in very high spirits. However, physically, in my opinion, is an empty shell of what he was. SO Thin and pale; quite aged. It was unsettling as we watched this happen to Dave...

We had a great visit with them and Lairs sister. Once it was just us. Kerri & Jay, she filled us in on everything she knows. Goldie is reluctant to go to counselling, taking the suggestion as an insult of her being 'crazy'; I guess it's still Hope and or Denial? Poor thing. I can not imagine! I think it would be good for both her and Danny to get some counselling. I wonder if the pallitive care teams have talked to them about it?

I talked to Dan about seeing a naturopath for possible pain relief/comfort and he is a brick wall. He said if the morphine won't make him feel better nothing will. I suggested that perhaps a naturopath would have a tea blend of herbs that may help with the nausia and he was not open to the suggestion, so I stopped. Hopefully subconsciously he will think about the things I said...


We had a wonderful Sunday afternoon with them at a small Spray Park, enjoying the nice weather and watching Quinn & children be so care free and playing.

The drive home was somber. We got home, ate, cleaned the house then just vegged.


Today my heart hurts and I have a lump in my throat thinking about this situation. But in the words of Lawrence, "It sucks; but it is what it is".


So I will try to refocus my emotions to the joy and love I have for Danny & Goldie.

Friday, August 6, 2010

When modern medicine doesn't work...

Danny went in for surgery yesterday to help alleviate some medical issues. There were some complications, so the procedure did not work and he needs to stay in the hospital for now =(

Lairs mom called yesterday and asked us to come visit this weekend. We've been wanting to visit for months but they just haven't been up for the company as Dan has been so sick...



The visit is long overdue. Lair wants to talk to his dad about alternative medicine. When modern medicine doesn't work perhaps looking into a Naturopath/homeopath, maybe some Reiki sessions... We know this won't cure him, but might make him more comfortable...



So we'll be heading to Medicine Hat this evening and will be back on sunday.


Prayers and energy.