Celebrating Life. mourning death and enjoying family and friends...

My quick trip to Calgary was exhausting to say the least! I was such a wreck here all by myself after I heard about Sean. I contained myself on the flight to Calgary, but the moment my suitcase came out, I lost it; luckily mom was right outside waiting for me... I just hugged her and cried. She said "there's a little boy in the car who wants to see his mommy"; I can't remember if I said it, or thought it, but my response was "I need MY mommy" and hugged her even harder and longer.

Friday night was the wedding rehersal. It was nice to see everybody and have a visit, except I felt so awful, still hurting about Sean; I didn't want to bring it up or talk because I didn't want to ruin such a happy occasion. It was hard to keep my composure, but managed. Quinn didn't do too well with the whole walk down the isle thing, it had me quite worried (and embarrassed).... :( We've been talking about this with him since Easter, and he's been super excited to be Brent's little helper, carrying the pillow with rings, but he just didn't want to cooperate with walking down the isle.

Saturday was long. Quinn got to get ready with the Groomsmen. They all looked super fantastic! They rode in a Limo Bus to Heritage Park and Quinn got to go too! We met them there and they did photos. It was tiring trying to keep Q happy, and the few pics he was in, he wouldn't cooperate... again :( and embarrassing. But hey, what can you do, he's 3!

He did the best he could do walking down the isle.... well, walked a bit, threw the pillow (thank God the real rings weren't on it) then ran the rest of the way! Lair had to chase him to the back where we tried to keep him settled to enjoy the ever so beautiful wedding. It was hard as he was tired, cranky, hungry, uncomfortable, etc...

When the ceremony was over, I 100% lost it! Lair had to tend to Quinn for pictures while I sat in the van on the phone with my mom... Sean's funeral was at 7pm. The ceremony was at 6:15 and I think ran a bit late. There was no way I could get there in time, as well I was too upset to drive. I asked mom to watch Quinn, Lair dropped him off while I cried on a few shoulders (thanks everybody!). I hadn't really spoken to anyone about how I felt about the situation with Sean as I was trying to stay focused on the wedding, so this was my release.

I got it under control in time for dinner and Lair made it back in time too! I calmed down and enjoyed a wonderful meal, basking in the love of Mr. & Mrs. Brent & Chrystal Boychuck. There was a touching slide show and the dance was a lot of fun.

Afterwards we ended up at a post wedding house party. Again, I lost it, taking about an hour (?) to talk/cry/rant/mourne... then I just kind of went numb...

Sunday we were both really hung over. Mom was nice enough to watch Q till the mid afternoon. We then headed over to Karen & Steves for a BBQ. So now am I exhausted from the wedding and dealing with Quinn, all the days of crying, and I'm hung over and sleep deprived... Sorry y'all; You know I love you guys but I just didn't think I could take it anymore - I just needed SLEEP!

Monday morning, James, Christy, Alex and us went for Breakfast. That was awesome! Then we headed off on our long drive home. Quinn was a very good boy. We left Downtown Calgary at 10:00am, stopped on the side of the highway about 40 minutes later to change Q's bum(!), then pushed through to Golden, stopped for some ice cream and a stretch, Q slept past Revelstoke and woke up just in time to stop at the Enchanted Forrest :) It was a nice hour break. Q's energy was super high and drained us even more, but he had fun. Stopped in Salmon Arm for Lunch/dinner and was home by 9pm.

What a trip. I am still lost and confused over Sean, but there is nothing I can do at this point so I will reflect on all that was good and be thankful we have a new Guardian Angel to watch over us and for me to Pray to.

I am thankful for my friends and family. I hope everyone knows how much I really love and appreciate everybody.