So this afternoon, around 3:15 I just couldn't get the knot out of my tummy; then opened a flood gate of tears... non stop tears! Red nose, blood shot eyes, tears streaming down my face.... I tried so hard to gain my composure. Thankfully the phone never rang and not too many people walked by - and when they did, I looked busy and hid behind my computer screens.
After a 1/2 hr I decided to go to the bathroom to try to shake it off as I couldn't answer the phone. There were two co-workers in there so I was able to talk abit and get some hugs. I was determined to get my self together and stay until 5.
Thankfully, one of the ladies I spoke with in the bathroom took charge and found my relief girl and asked her to cover reception so I could leave. My relief was happy yo do so and I booked out of there as fast as I could.
I had an epic cry in the parking lot and at each stop light. I debated on stopping before I hit the Deerfoot but just wanted to get home.
Lawrence was home when I arrived so I had warm loving arms to fall into.
My eyes hurt. I am tired. So much to do to get ready but I just don't care right now. Tomorrow night will be long and busy.
3 comments:
you are allowed, take what time you need, what tears you have to shed and do it. It isn't easy dealing with the loss of a loved one. Your emotions are going to go from super high to super low.
Just own them, it is what your body and mind need to do to grieve. Do not take shame or embarrassment from it, just know that it is cathartic and grow from it :)
My thoughts, energy and prayers are with you and yours this weekend.
lots of love
Ursula
Big love from Rocky and me!!
Oh Mel and family. You don't know me very well but i wish I was there to hug you all. These things in our lives are not wanted or asked for but there is no way through it but to get through it. i know exactly how you feel. Do what Ursala says and even though you wonder why and how the sun will shine and you good friends will be there for you
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